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The Golfing Accident      

    A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch.  Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground.  As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor.  He said, “How bad is it Doc?  I’m going on my honeymoon in two weeks and my fiancée is still a virgin... in every way.”

    The doctor told him, “I’ll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight.  It should be okay by then.”  So the doctor took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little four-sided bandage, and taped it all together; an impressive work of art.  The guy mentions none of this to his girl.

    They get married and go on their honeymoon.  That night in the hotel room she removes her clothing to reveal a gorgeous set of breasts.  This was the first time he saw them.  She said, “You’re the first -- no one has ever touched these breasts.”

    He immediately drops his pants and replies...  “Look at this, honey - it’s still in the crate!”

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