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LOVE AND LUST JOKES

The Farmer Had His Hands Full...

    One day, farmer Jones was in town picking up supplies for his farm.  He stopped by the hardware store and picked up a bucket and an anvil, then stopped by the livestock dealer to buy a couple of chickens and a goose.  Now he had a problem:  how to carry all of his purchases home.  The livestock dealer said, “Why don’t you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?”  “Hey, thanks!” the farmer said, and off he went.

    While walking towards home, he met a very attractive young lady dressed in a rather skimpy dress.  She told him she was lost, and asked, “Can you tell me how to get to 1515 Mockingbird Lane?”

    The farmer said, “Well, as a matter of fact, I’m going to visit my brother at 1616 Mockingbird Lane.  Let’s take a short cut and go down this alley.  We’ll save half the time to get there.”

    The young lady said, “How do I know that when we get in to the alley you won’t hold me up against the wall, pull down my skirt and ravish me?”

    The farmer said, “I am carrying a bucket, an anvil, two chickens, and a goose.  How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?”

    The young lady said, “Set the goose down, put the bucket over the goose, put the anvil on top of the bucket, and I’ll hold the chickens...”

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