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LOVE AND LUST JOKES

From Suicide to Stowaway

   A depressed young woman was so desperate that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean.  When she went down to the docks, a handsome young sailor noticed her tears, took pity on her, and said, “Look, you’ve got a lot to live for.  I’m off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship.  I’ll take good care of you and bring you food every day.”  Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her waist and added, “I’ll keep you happy, and you’ll keep me happy.”  The girl nodded ‘yes.’ After all, what did she have to lose?

   That night, the sailor brought her aboard his ship and hid her in a lifeboat.  From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches, a bottle of water and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.  Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the Captain.  “What are you doing here?” the Captain asked.

   “I have an arrangement with one of the sailors,” she explained.  “He’s taking me to Europe, and he’s screwing me.”

   “He sure is, lady,” said the Captain.  “This is the Staten Island Ferry!”

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