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MISCELLANEOUS JOKES

The Amazing Goldstein!!!!

   A traveling salesman comes to a small town in the Midwest and notices a circus banner -- “DON’T MISS THE AMAZING GOLDSTEIN!!!!”  Curious, he buys a ticket and sits through the usual circus acts, animals, clowns, contortionists and other sleazy acts.  Finally the trumpets blare and all eyes are turned toward the center ring.  There in the center ring is a table with three walnuts sitting on it.  In comes a little old Jewish man, five foot tall, barely able to walk up to the table.  He unzips his pants, whips out the longest schlong, and proceeds to smash all three walnuts with three swings.  The crowd erupts into thunderous applause and the clowns carry him off...

    Twenty years later the salesman arrives in a nearby town and, lo and behold, he sees a faded sign for the same circus and the same “DON’T MISS THE AMAZING GOLDSTEIN!!!!”  He can’t believe the old guy is still alive, much less still doing his act.  Once more he buys a ticket, sits through the acts and again the center ring is illuminated.  This time there are three coconuts on the table.  Little Goldstein takes forever to make it to the table but once more smashes the coconuts with three swings of his amazing weapon...

   The salesman requests a meeting with him after the show.  In his dressing room he tells him he’s never seen anything like the act, but he wants to know why he is now smashing coconuts instead of the much easier walnuts?

   And Goldstein replies, “My eyes aren’t what they used to be!!”

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