Just for Fun Miscellaneous
Once upon a time there lived a woman who had a maddening passion
for baked beans. She loved them but unfortunately they had always had a very
embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her. Then one day she met a guy and fell in love.
When it became apparent that they would marry she thought to
herself, “He is such a sweet and gentle man, he would never go for this
carrying on.” So she made
the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
months later her car broke down on the way home from work.
Since they lived in the country she called her husband and told him
that she would be late because she had to walk home. On her way she passed a small diner. And the odor of the baked beans was more than she could
stand. Since she still had
miles to walk, she figured that she would walk off any ill effects by the
time she reached home. So,
she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had consumed three
large orders of baked beans.
All the way home she toot-tooted and putt-putted.
And upon arriving home she felt reasonably sure she could control
it. Her husband seemed
excited to see her and exclaimed delightedly, “Darling, I have a
surprise for dinner tonight.” He
then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table.
She seated herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold
from his wife, the telephone rang. He
made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned.
He then went to answer the phone.
The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting
her and the pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband
was out of the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one
leg and let it go. It was not
only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in
front of a pulpwood mill. She
took her napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously.
Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which
reminded her of cabbage cooking. Keeping
her ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went on like
this for another three minutes. When
the phone farewells signaled the end of her freedom, she fanned the air a
few more times with her napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands
upon it, smiling contentedly to herself.
She was the picture of innocence when her husband
returned. Apologizing for
taking so long, he asked her if she peeked, and she assured him that she
had not. At this point, he
removed the blindfold, and there was her surprise -- there were twelve
dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a Happy Birthday!...
staring at her.
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